Your Assistance Is Requested

No, no, I don't have eleventy bajillion dollars that I need to transfer out of a Nigerian bank. I have search queries I don't understand. And it's more interesting to ask you than to try and figure it out for myself.

These items have all led people to my blog, and I cannot fathom why.




(Apparently... when in doubt try a different language?)
royce chang
"2007[/url]" blogspot "post a comment"
(the above was not my mistake, someone actually searched for that)
claveles
z-ro
dailytang
dudelsack

Before I end this post I have one last thing to say.

dudelsack. BUAHAHAHAHA!

As promised

More bizarreness from the search query trackers.

Australian cow (apparently, we have these. I never knew. I've learned more about the country since I've moved abroad.)
cow's butt (well yeah. That was my next question, how about you?)
snot clipart (what the hell? Who would need this? Who would MAKE this? What does snot clipart look like? Wait, I don't want to know.)
Finland be afraid be very afraid (snort, too late, you should have warned them earlier)
nun sex
naughty librarians
naked hula (I suppose they didn't find what they wanted with "nun sex" or "naughty librarians")

And the number one search term... and I mean, this one is FAR and AWAY the most common search, and quite a lot of people are clicking through to read my blog... can you guess? I don't know about you, but I'm incredibly proud. My dream come true, the one thing I always wanted to be known for. My magnum opus.

Bagpipes.

Yes, I'm proud.

Long Time Between Drinks!

I decided to check my webmaster tools today and what do I see? Ponderous, ponderous search strings! For your viewing pleasure, I present: nuns in underpants.

I just... I... dude. Come on! Someone searched for that. Someone wanted to see that. Think about it for a second. (No, don't think about the nuns. Think about the kind of person who'd want to search for that.)

I did a bit of a search myself, to see if my guesses were correct. Well, partly. There were the expected porn versions (and I'm quite sure that not one of the so-called nuns had ever made a commitment to JC). But sadly, one of the nuns appeared to be Matt Lucas in a nun outfit. I was going to post it, but I've decided to use a different image to demonstrate what the nun kinda looked like. You'll just have to imagine him dressed as a penguin.


Here is the second strange image that I found for the same search.

I would love to be able to say that there was only one weird search string that came up. Really, I would. But the frog-cat with the martini glass has got me all flummoxed. And there are evidently a lot of crazies out there searching for weird stuff. I'm going to tell you all about them... next time.